Ultraman: The Adventure Begins (1987)

directed by Ray Patterson, Mitsuo Kusakabe

USA/Japan

78 minutes

1.5 stars out of 5

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So I knew that an Ultraman cartoon produced by Hanna-Barbera existed, but I'd for the longest time I was under the impression that it was an entire series, not just this one-off thing, so I'd been treating it like Hanna-Barbera's Godzilla: "I'll get around to that someday, maybe, if I feel like it." The Adventure Continues was evidently intended to be an entire series, but that didn't work out, and honestly, I'm okay with it.

The premise should be somewhat familiar to anybody who's seen an Ultra series, and easily digestible to those who haven't: three pilots - Chuck, Beth, and Scott - collide with a mysterious energy sphere, later revealed to have been Ultras from the M78 nebula heading to Earth. The pilots would have been killed in the accident, but the Ultras chose instead to merge with their bodies, giving them the ability to shift forms. At the same time, an invasion by aliens from a planet called Sorkin is going on, and although attempts are made to deal with the monsters non-violently, the Ultras must protect the Earth against these giant monsters with their newfound powers.

It's been a while since I've rated anything this low. Maybe it feels worse because I've been watching a lot of good stuff lately, but I've got to say, the quality of this one ranges from "mildly entertaining" to "pretty dismal". I'll try to be kind to it, and get the stuff I liked out of the way first, but after that... no guarantees.

I have a soft spot for late-'80s/early-'90s anime, which is basically what this is; the animation is clearly not done by a US studio (as many cartoons aired in the States weren't) and it's got the vibe of anime from that era, where everybody is blocky and buff and all the women look the same. I'm not saying the animation is good, but it's comfortingly familiar to someone like me who enjoys that kind of thing. There is interesting conflict between Dr. Susan Rand and her team, who are dedicated to researching the monsters instead of just killing them, and the three pilots/Ultras. They're eventually persuaded into seeing the value of a non-violent solution to dealing with the monsters whenever possible, but unfortunately, it's not possible very often. Looking at this with the knowledge that it was meant to be expanded into a full series, introducing that option of having monsters who were not intentionally destructive and were dealt with in a kind and gentle fashion would have provided a nice change of pace. The fight scenes are also extremely entertaining; aerial battles are definitely the place (the only place) where the animation team shines and the cartoon feels like it's actually getting decent.

Also, Zoon, the big fat dragon who's just a sweet confused baby, was great. What an adorable little dude. I loved seeing the Ultras take care of him and relocate him to somewhere he could live in peace. Perfect creature.

I really have to struggle to come up with nice things to say about this, because the balance of good and bad here is weighted heavily towards "bad". Maybe this is my fault for having internet brainrot, but I could not stop thinking about G.I. Joe PSAs throughout this entire thing. The voice acting is so bad and so ill-fitting with the animation that it creates these unintentionally hysterical moments, such as the pilots' boss witnessing them all die horribly in a fiery crash and just solemnly going "They were the best." All of the dialogue feels like a parody of emotion, a script written by an AI who's never met a human before and has only been fed on Saturday morning cartoons. And that's not even touching on the jokes - the humor is so, so stale. Absolutely nothing about it that's intended to be funny is. The only humorous moments were when I was cracking up thinking "Hey, kid, I'm a computer! Stop all the downloadin'!"

I was trying to give this the benefit of the doubt, because I think all Ultra is good Ultra, and I didn't want to have a bias against The Adventure Begins just because of its being produced by a domestic, mainstream studio. I don't have to worry about that, though, because as it turns out I have a bias against it because it is bad. To be fair, it's not really right to judge this by itself, because how many pilot episodes are considered the best part of a series? If it had been given the chance to develop its storylines and feature more interesting ideas and fresher jokes, it could have turned into something good, and maybe that's the real tragedy here - maybe this thing was cut off before it could blossom. What we have, though, is just a dud, to me. The action sequences are fun, but I couldn't say I got much out of this. If there's anything good about it, it's that Tsuburaya has embraced Team USA into their fold, and they appear in some truly fun scenes in the Ultra Galaxy Fight side-series. Ultrawoman Beth for life.