Showing posts with label not a review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not a review. Show all posts

Monday, January 19, 2026

An Update Regarding Updates

As of this week I'm going to be switching this blog from a strict "every Monday at 8 AM" update schedule to a strict "whenever I write something decent enough to publish" update schedule.

The reason for this is mostly just that I'm finding it an increasingly frequent occurrence that I'm too busy/tired/cavernously sad to get a new review done in time. And, as I've said a few times, I've been running this thing for probably close to ten years (although I've deleted a lot of my older work) and have gotten precisely zero actual audience engagement. I like the idea of having a blog, but I think people might just not really have any interest in reading film reviews. Maybe I should have realized that ten years ago?

In the meantime, you can always find me on my other blog, which is much livelier than this one, and updates probably more often than it should. Ciao for now. See you whenever.

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Saturday, November 1, 2025

From Odo Island to the Big Island: 70 Years of Godzilla in Hawai'i

(I'm publishing this simultaneously to my other blog.)

Last year, we celebrated 70 years of the first Godzilla film, and next year, we'll celebrate 70 years of its American recut, Godzilla! King of the Monsters. But this year was the 70th anniversary of something that, I would argue, is even more interesting: the opening of the Hawaiian run of the original Godzilla. The newspaper clippings I'm going to present below are the very first English-language reviews of the film, and the version of it that critics were watching was uncut, un-Raymond-Burred, and English-subtitled. 

I'm going to do my best to cover some of Hawai'i's rich theater heritage in this post, but for a wider exploration of the subject, you absolutely must read Lowell Angell's Theaters of Hawai'i.

Part I: Hawaii Times


On October 3rd, the first rumblings began... a tiny ad on the second page of the paper indicated that something unusual was on its way. In recent years, Hawaii Times had reviewed contemporary American sci-fi and horror movies: Creature from the Black Lagoon, Invaders from Mars, etc, but the Japanese films that were being shown at the three theaters covered by the paper's film department (the Kokusai/International, the Toyo, and the Nippon) were markedly different. Mother dramas were overwhelmingly popular, as were musical comedies starring the likes of Hibari Misora and Chiemi Eri, and if there was any hint of genre fare, it was in the form of kaidan films; many starring Takako Irie, all jidaigeki. This was the first modern Japanese monster movie, set in modern times, and it must have come as a shock.


On opening night, Hawaii Times previewed the film. In both the preview and the review from a few days later, the face of the film is Takashi Shimura, the only member of the cast who Hawaiian audiences would have been familiar with. HT's film reviewer, James T. Hamada, conjectures that the film's cast of young unknowns may have contributed to the theater being fairly empty during the premiere. (If I may interject, Hamada had seen Akihiko Hirata three months earlier in Itsuko and Her Motherand Hamada's review marks the first time Hirata's name appeared in an English-language publication.)

Us Godzilla fans tend to have great respect for Raymond Burr for reprising his Steve Martin role in Godzilla 1985 because he genuinely cared for Godzilla, despite warnings that it would be bad for his image, and I don't think it would be too much of a reach to say we could probably feel the same way about Takashi Shimura. I don't know Shimura's personal feelings about being in the movie, but without a recognizable actor like him, Godzilla's initial appeal in the West may have been even lower.


Hamada's review of the film appeared in the October 6th edition, in a much longer column than was usually given to film reviews. It is fascinating. Hamada had some qualms about the movie's realism in practical terms, but praised its special effects right off the bat.


The most interesting thing to me here is that Hamada seems to understand that the film intends to present Godzilla as one of a species, and accordingly he uses the word "godzilla" without capitalization and as a plural, the way one would say "dogs" or "cats". Hamada comes away from the movie with the idea that "a godzilla" is something like a made-up species of dinosaur. The takeaway: Godzilla is not a character yet. Godzilla is just a big animal.

As someone who has not infrequently been the only person seeing a movie, when Hamada says "70 or 80 persons" attended the screening, that sounds like a fair amount to me. But the Kokusai could seat 1,200 people. Announced in 1939 and opening officially in 1941 with design by Hego Fuchino, it was one of many theaters in Honolulu, sitting in the 'A'ala Park district right next door to the Toyo, which also showed Japanese films, including some produced by Toho. After and during the war the theater was often referred to as the "International", the English translation of its name.

photo courtesy of Edna Kijinami, from the flickr account of Chie Gondo

The Kokusai, at its opening, was owned by Sanji Abe, president of Kokusai Kogyō. In September of 1942, Abe was arrested and placed into an internment camp for allegedly owning a Japanese flag. He was transferred between three different internment camps until being paroled in 1944 and released from parole in February of 1945. He would return to promoting and importing Japanese films after the war.

Part II: Honolulu Star-Advertiser



I include this as it does fit the scope of this article, but I should note that the balloon was not a strictly Hawaiian story. The above clipping was actually taken from the October 19th, 1954 edition of The Plain Speaker, published in Hazleton, Pennsylvania; Honolulu Star-Bulletin re-ran it in December of that year. You will notice that the publication date is several weeks before even the first limited-release screenings of Godzilla within JapanThis means that Americans were aware of Godzilla from the very, very beginning. Photos of the balloon must have made their way from Tokyo to American newspaper offices within days.

As for Honolulu Star-Advertiser's coverage of the film itself, it was fairly extensive. William W. Davenport writes about the film after having seen a showing at the Kokusai, the same theater featured above. This clipping is from the October 7th, 1955 edition.


Although this article feels more sensational than Hamada's, several takeaways can be made. Davenport, for whatever reason, does not seem to be aware of the Romanized spelling "Godzilla" and uses "Gojira" throughout his review. He baldly spoils the film's ending but refuses to describe the Oxygen Destroyer in detail. We also learn that an advertising short film played after Godzilla: a "musical documentary on the soft drink industry" produced by your friend and mine Bireley's. I have to say, I can't really tell what the critic makes of the film itself, but he seems impressed with Godzilla as a monster.

Part III: Hawaii Tribune-Herald

The first Hawaii Tribune-Herald mention of the film is used on Wikipedia to claim that the earliest English usage of the name "Godzilla" occurred on November 20th, 1955, which, as we have seen from the Hawaii Times material above, is not true at all.


Not to get personal or anything, but when I read "Walked home afterward under comforting stars, never so big and brilliant. Hua caught up with me presently. 'I saw Godzilla, too,' he said." I wanted to cry. Imagine walking home under the beautiful night sky in Hawai'i with your friend after being one of the first people to watch Godzilla outside of Japan.

This second mention is vanishingly small, only an ad, but it introduces us to our next theater. I want to mention the Mooheau Theater because it only existed for a scant six years after showing Godzilla and was then destroyed in a tsunami. As this ad is from November 5th, either the writer of the above review saw the film in another theater, or was recollecting his experience after the film had left local theaters. The author would not have seen it at the Kokusai as this paper was published in Hilo, not Honolulu.


Because the theater was destroyed such a long time ago, most information I have about it is anecdotal. It apparently existed as far back as the late 1910s, and it seems that it began showing Filipino and Japanese imports sometime around the 1940s. One Lawrence Akutagawa writes in a Google Groups post (that I'm really not even sure should be public) that the Mooheau catered to "more formal Japanese dance" and was, like the Kokusai, situated on a street with several other theaters.

Wreckage of Mooheau Street, credit to Craig Miyamoto

Part IV: Further Historical Context

Most theaters during this time were single-screen. Movies rotated in and out of Hawaii's theaters relatively quickly, since, basically, if you can't show a bunch of movies at the same time, you have to show a bunch of movies in rapid succession instead. From my own research, I found that some films would become massively popular (such as Hideo Ōba's Always in My Heart, which was evidently a smash success) and be held over or return for several repeat runs, but this was fairly rare during the 1953-1955 years that my research focused on. It's frustrating that we can't get a clear picture of attendance for Godzilla during its original run, and anything I come up with would be total conjecture, but if we assume that attendance was low at the Kokusai and probably much lower at the Mooheau (Hilo circa 1950 had some 200,000+ less people living there than Honolulu), allowing for a week-long run in both theaters would give us numbers perhaps in the low- to mid-thousands.

I unfortunately couldn't drag up any interior photos of either the Kokusai or the Mooheau, but this is the Waikiki Theater, which sat 1,353 people, and so would have been a roughly similar size to the Kokusai.

The interior of Honolulu's Toyo theater. From State Historic Preservation Office.

Another solution to not having multiple screens within one theater was to just have a lot of theaters. It may seem odd to us today to think of a street with several movie theaters on it, sometimes right next door to each other, but again, we have to consider that these theaters were single-screen and often specific film companies would have vested interest in them - so one theater would specialize in Daiei films and rarely show anything else, or another theater would frequently host traditional dance performances along with movies, et cetera.

(I am, out of necessity, focusing on theaters that showed Japanese films mostly or exclusively, but I don't want to make it sound like these were the only theaters in Hawai'i; due to its incredibly diverse population, theaters showed imported films in a multitude of languages, as well as your usual run-of-the-mill American oaters and sweeping melodramas.)

Another early Japanese theater, the Honolulu-za, ca. late 1930s-early 1940s. From Hawai'i State Archives.

One last thing to consider is that the concept of a movie having English subtitles was, at least in this specific time and place, fairly new. From context it seems like the bulk of the audience for imported Japanese features during the early- to mid-1950s were people who could actually understand Japanese - unlike today, when it's easy for anybody who doesn't speak a lick of the language to see subtitled features in a theater. The following is an article from mid-1954 concerning the recent introduction of English subtitles to the Japanese features playing at the Nippon Theater, and it takes possibly the most logical tack towards subtitles that I've ever heard: if you don't need 'em, don't read 'em.


Therefore, despite what may seem like a very small and limited run, Godzilla arrived at a time where the odds were actually more in its favor in terms of reaching a larger audience than they may have been just a few years prior, when it would not have been subtitled.

Conclusions

I know this was a boring one. Thanks for reading. I have to go to bed now.

No, really. The popular opinion of the Godzilla series in America has historically been a matter of clueless Westerners poking fun at the sweaty guys in rubber suits bonking each other around while ineffectual miniature planes on visible wires fly overhead. We have held that opinion because what of Godzilla that has reached our shores has largely been an adulterated form of the original work: ever since Godzilla, King of the Monsters! we've been fed recuts and bad dubs, pan-and-scans and late-nite TV reruns. We are of course in the kaiju renaissance now: "tokusatsu" is a word in the dictionary, Minus One won an Oscar, Eiji Tsuburaya has been inducted into the Special Effects Hall of Fame, there is a vague sense within academia that Japanese monster movies may be worth looking at closely.

But I want us to remember that there has always been an undercurrent of admiration for these films. From the very earliest days, there have been people appreciating Godzilla films. I want us to know that before the SNL skits and the MST3k episodes there were people like James T. Hamada who saw that something respectable was being done - that the effects were, in fact, good. I want us to think about walking home under the stars in the late autumn cool, talking to our friends about the giant lizard we just saw level Tokyo, the paleontologist and his empathy for the creature, the star-crossed lovers, the scientist fighting with his own conscience, and what it all meant.

Sunday, September 21, 2025

Your intrepid author needs a break again this week.

We shall return next week with horror movie reviews for the spooky season.

I don't like skipping weeks, and I don't like that I've done it twice now, but I'm taking on a lot of subtitling projects and 100% of my energy is currently going into that, so I do not have time to do things such as sleep or watch movies and focus on them enough to have coherent thoughts that I can turn into a review.

May I offer a mediocre group portrait of the Ultra Q crew in compensation?




Monday, June 9, 2025

Comedy Trio [Owarai san'ningumi] with English Subtitles

It took longer than I wanted it to, but I finally finished the subtitling project I've been working on: two episodes of Comedy Trio subtitled in English for the first time. This series has been on my radar because it's the most well-known work of Yoshiko Otowa: singer, actress, and younger sister of Akihiko Hirata.

Read more about Comedy Trio here and see the post about my subtitles - which includes the archive.org link to the episodes as well as my TL notes - here.

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Baby's First Silver Scream Spookshow

On May 17th some friends from my film screenings took me from my nice safe home and ferried me to spend a day in Atlanta going to my first Silver Scream Spookshow, which was featuring Mothra vs. Godzilla. The Spookshow is a kind of old-timey throwback horror-host thing starring Professor Morte and his troupe of Go-Go Ghouls, who put on a stage show before all of the movies they screen. I didn't know anything about this before my friend told me about it and very kindly offered to let me tag along, so here's me traveloguing about it. If you happened to be at the afternoon Spookshow and heard somebody yelling "HOLY SHIT IT'S KEMUR MAN", sorry, that was me, the spirit moved me.

the birds outside a french bakery are well fed indeed

Before the show, we went to the Monsterama Market Macabre, a fairly large dealer's room with a mix of people selling various vintage (and new) horror merch and vendors selling their original wares. I spent about an hour there and picked up a nice handful of random keshi figures (although some were suspiciously sticky, as old figures tend to be). The overall ratio of toku merch to general horror memorabilia was quite skewed in favor of horror, but there was one small Godzilla booth that I could have easily dropped much more money at than I did.


Afterward we ate lunch at a Peruvian place where the waiter referred to me as "young lady" which gave me the vibe that he perhaps thought I was a child or teenager (I am not a lady and I am also 26).

We rolled up to the Spookshow a good deal of time before it started and so got to watch as the place slowly got more and more packed. We were there for the early show, which was intended to be more child-friendly; there were a lot of kids in the audience but all were very well-behaved. The stage show lasted about 20 minutes and consisted of the Go-Go Ghouls' attempts to summon Mothra, which were largely unsuccessful but did summon a bearded human with what appeared to be two skeins of yarn stuffed into the chest area of their dress going by Madame Butterfly. During this time either Alien Zetton or Kemur Man (difficult to tell) and Cicada Human could be seen at large.


I was really, genuinely so normal about seeing an Alien Zetton in person.

Eventually the Ghouls' efforts to summon Mothra were successful and we were treated to a large and incredibly gorgeous Mothra puppet flying around the theater. I wanted to capture video of this but unfortunately I have dinosaur technology syndrome and the video I recorded only ended up running for one second.


Thankfully, I did get to meet the lady herself after the show. I also showed my Godzilla tattoo to Professor Morte. 

Yes, I've been Minilla this whole time. I'm sorry for lying to you all.

A short semi-interactive film featuring a really gorgeous Godzilla puppet resembling the GMK suit (Prof Morte mentioned something about the amalgamated souls of WWII, so I think this is their chosen origin story for Godzilla) was one of the highlights of the show for me. I saw the puppet and its creator after the show and was given a free zine as reward for wearing a sick-ass King Joe pin that day.


Afterwards we stopped by Videodrome, which I would choose as my preferred location for a kind of "locked in the shopping mall overnight"-slash-Groundhog Day scenario. I did not buy anything but I appreciated the Vinegar Syndrome pop-up that was happening outside the store and I hope I impressed the merits of Tai Katō upon the friend I was with.

I'm legally obligated to tell you that we absolutely, without a doubt watched the subtitled version and not the dub. For certain, that is what we did.

I don't get out of town too terribly often - much less to do three fun things in one day - so this was a blast. The Spookshow was everything I care about: kaiju movies, practical effects, supporting local movie theaters, people getting sprayed with Silly String (much more fun if you avoid being Strung yourself), et cetera. Consider this an advertisement for the Spookshow, which is playing a Ray Harryhausen movie as their next feature, if I understood correctly.

Sunday, April 27, 2025

Don't want to give too much away too early, buuuut...

I'm about to start on a special subtitling project starring a special gal who may look just a liiiiiittle bit familiar. (Consider my other blog when I say this.)

  
All will be revealed in time.

Thursday, February 13, 2025

Do YOU want to hear all about a highly obscure 71-year-old Toho movie?

I've completed the project I was working on that caused me to miss a weekly post: here it is.

I've done a full (very amateur) fan translation of an early draft script for Rakugo Nagaya wa Hana Zakari, a Toho movie released in 1954 that has no surviving full prints. In 2010 someone reached out to Toho directly about screening it at a film festival and received a shortened, 38-minute re-release version, which has since been screened a whopping 3 times, the last one being in 2016. But that leaves over half of the movie that is lost to time.

...unless?

Like I said, it's an early draft (it may even be the first draft, judging by how many revisions the script contains), so it doesn't reflect the finished film 1:1, but if you like rakugo or '50s Toho movies, it may be of some interest. Navigate over to the tag I've created for the film on my other blog to hear me talk about it - there are more posts about it forthcoming.

Monday, February 3, 2025

No review this week because I am busy.

I've been working on something big and I just need to focus all of my energy on it until it gets done. This is the only time I've ever missed a week, and probably the only time I ever will. I don't feel good about it at all, but I just did not manage to find the time to sit down and give anything a proper review this week. I promise the project I'm working on is worth it.

We'll be back in business next week. In the meantime, can I offer you a Varan?


Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Let's Go See A Movie

I originally wrote this post to celebrate having had my other blog for a year. I worked really hard on it, but then I decided it was extremely silly and not a good fit for that blog. So I'm shunting it over here instead.
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I've been running this blog for a year now. I must admit I've poured a considerable amount of money and an even more considerable amount of time into it. So it's only appropriate that for my one-year anniversary post, I've done something that involves both money and time: I've bought us a time machine!

"Where'd you get it?" What do you mean, where'd I get it? Yahoo! Auctions, of course, that's where I get everything.

Anyway, you and me are going to go back to 1959 and catch a showing of The Mysterians stateside. Yes, the dub is bad, but we're witnessing history here. We're going to San Francisco's Metro Theatre, because I like San Francisco. It's way too expensive these days, but in 1959 we'll be paying about a dollar for our tickets. We can sneak out before the movie they're double-billing it with comes on.

Here we are, and there's a line out the door! Everybody's scrambling to see The Mysterians and American movie critics in the '50s have a ton of respect for Japanese films and don't think they're a joke in the slightest.[citation needed]


The lobby is nice and air-conditioned, but San Francisco in late spring isn't too hot in the first place. We're here in the last week or two of May, just after the film opened on the 15th. If you look closely, you can see a poster in the back advertising another upcoming imported feature - it's The H-Man, set to release on the 28th! Don't worry, there's enough juice in the time machine for a second trip.


Because I have a guy on the inside, we've got an original pressbook to look through while we're waiting in line. (We may be a bit early; time machine calibration is not an exact science.)


Let's see how they're trying to sell this one to theater owners across the nation:
  • "Invaders from space coming to steal our women" is probably the #1 selling point across all the U.S. advertising materials.
  • The color and scope are also highly emphasized, but this gets my goat a little, because it's shilled all over as a CinemaScope picture that utilizes Eastmancolor - it's not, it's TohoScope, but we wouldn't know that since the American cut removes the TohoScope logo. The technical specifications of TohoScope are almost identical to CinemaScope, I admit, but... it's just not, okay? 
  • Space is cool! Everyone loves space! The Mysterians fit in quite well with the mania for atomic/science/space-themed sci-fi films in the 1950s.
  • You can order 4,000 "heralds" (small two-page folded pamphlets) for $28.75 - that's about $313 in today's money. (I have of course ordered these to be sent to your house when you get back from our trip.)
  • Moguera is hyped up in promotional materials but seen as a bit of a joke by critics, as we'll see shortly.
If we turned on the radio - we do have a radio inside the time machine - we might be able to catch an announcement advertising the film. There were eight different varieties of these for broadcasters to choose from. In the interest of space I won't duplicate every single one here, just the longest (which I've had to reconstruct a bit since the pamphlet I'm looking at is cut off on one side):

"From behind the moon they come - to invade the Earth - to abduct our women and [level] our cities!! They are THE MYSTERIANS... demons from behind the moon, who top our every top secret! MGM now [presents] an enthralling motion picture about a master race that smashed the atom before we even saw the light of day - THE MYSTERIANS! [Aliens] who abduct Earth's women so that they themselves [can breed]... super-sonic war erupts from out of space before your very eyes! [A giant robot]... sheathed in heavy metal... fifty times the size [of a man]! [Crushing every] human being in its path with the dreadful searing rays [from its eyes] - see it all in THE MYSTERIANS! A terrifying, fantastic [feature presented in] giant CinemaScope and Color! THE MYSTERIANS!"

And the shortest:

"MGM presents a first in terror - THE MYSTERIANS - a master race that smashed the atom before we were born! See electronic war erupt from outer space! See THE MYSTERIANS - in Giant Cinemascope and Color!"

Our theater has chosen to spring for all possible advertisement. We're beset by many different sizes of lobby cards, most of which feature lovely (although maybe not quite screen-accurate) original illustrations by Lt. Colonel Robert B. Rigg. 



I ask the guy behind the counter selling tickets so nicely if I can buy this one off him but he won't let me:

This is actually meant for advertising in newspapers and so probably wouldn't be on display in a theater. Also god damn

We might even see some kids playing around with a Mysterian trading card from Nu-Card, featuring a tremendously bad pun.


Speaking of kids, we also have evidence that the movie was marketed deliberately to children; see this newspaper clipping featuring some of the advertising we just looked at above.


How did all this advertising pay off? Pretty well - the film grossed $975,000 in the American box office. Adjusted for inflation that is $10,607,092. Unfortunately 1959 is also the year that Ben-Hur came out, grossing $74,432,704 in the North American (U.S. and Canada) box office, which, adjusted for inflation, is $809,758,520. That's insane money. I could buy at least two DVDs off YesAsia with that. Still! Almost a million dollars for an imported Japanese feature means the people do like The Mysterians.

And enough about us, who already know and love this movie. What do the critics say? Before I picked you up in this time machine I went to a couple newsstands and grabbed some old papers and periodicals. Here's the May 23 issue of Harrison's Reports:


"From the production point of view, this Japanese-made science-fiction thriller, which is enhanced by CinemaScope and Eastmancolor, is far better than most America-made pictures of its type." Wow! That's much nicer than what most American critics of Japanese films had to say. 

Now let's look at Boxoffice. Dear reader - I mean, time machine companion - I hate this one.

Americans in the 1950s would go see a Japanese movie and be like "aw man there's Japanese people in this"

Emphasizing that "the cast means nothing" not once but twice within a one-paragraph review, describing Kenji Sahara and Yumi Shirakawa as having "only a slightly Oriental cast of features and [almost resembling] American teenagers"... oh boy. I forgot we were still in the 1950s for a moment.

Let's move on to Variety. Oh, it doesn't look good already. "As corny as it is furious, The Mysterians is red-blooded phantasmagoria - made in Japan and dedicated to those undiscerning enough to be taken in by its hokum."


"The cast - from Kenji Sahara to Minosuke Yamada - isn't intended to sell many Yankee tickets." 
Okay?

I've got a review from the New York Times as well, but I won't repeat it here since it's much of the same wisecracking and actually goes so far as to refer to it as a "mess". I do appreciate this quote, however: "It has to do with a huge, globular fortress that plops to earth 'from the fifth planet' (wherever that is), envelops a group of glamour girls and is finally destroyed by a brave young Galahad."

Hmm. Well, while the critics seem intent on dismissing the Japanese cast altogether, the people in the Metro with us today who have more "highbrow" tastes will definitely recognize Takashi Shimura from the Kurosawa films that have been playing stateside since Rashomon in the early '50s. People have also seen Yoshio Tsuchiya if they've seen Seven Samurai, but they probably wouldn't recognize him here, as his face is covered in The Mysterians and he is dubbed over. Anybody who's seen Godzilla, King of the Monsters! will (theoretically) recognize both Momoko Kōchi and Akihiko Hirata, and a very select few might have seen Hirata in other things - possibly one of Inagaki's Samurai films, or even Itsuko and Her Motheralthough the chances of that being the thing they know him from are vanishingly slim since, as far as I know, that film only screened in Hawaii. And, of course, anybody here who's seen Rodan could recognize him, Kenji Sahara, and Yumi Shirakawa. We'll be seeing them all again quite soon in The H-Man as well.

So the cast means nothing to Americans, huh? It's debatable how much anybody actually cared, but to say that none of the cast of The Mysterians would have been familiar to American audiences is just not true.

I'll leave this alone in a minute, I promise, but stick with me a little longer here. I've always been curious about how much American audiences were actually paying attention to the cast of the imported Japanese films they were watching. I looked up Variety's review of The H-Man, which is credited to the same person who reviewed The Mysterians, and...


...this critic appears to have mixed up Kenji Sahara and Akihiko Hirata's roles in the film, which means he presumably was not recognizing people who were in the same movie he'd just watched a week or two prior (or at least not bothering to put names to faces). So the answer to "how much did Americans care?" is probably not very much.

Alright, the movie's about to start. We're in our seats, and you've endured me lecturing you for this long, time to get down to business. For a more extensive overview of how the American cut differs from the Japanese original, I'll turn it over to our friend Brian Culver at The History Vortex. One of the more notable losses in the American cut - which is fairly good as far as these things go - is Ifukube's formidable score, which appears to have been distorted into something more like the eerie, theremin-soaked sci-fi soundtracks Americans were used to. The second Moguera is also cut out entirely, which is a shame, because I screened The Mysterians to a small audience myself back in the present day and that moment got some big laughs.

The Metro is a stadium-style theater that has only one single screen but a massive seating capacity - 856 seats by the time of its closure, but probably a bit less when we're here. We're sitting in the front row, naturally. Can you see us? We're right down there.


85 minutes later (the U.S. cut shaves down some special effects scenes, removing three minutes of runtime), we're ready to get out of here before Watusi starts and go back home.

Thank you for accompanying me on this journey. I'm not talking about the time machine anymore, I'm talking about this blog. It's a lonely business running a fansite for an actor who most people in the English-speaking world only know for one role, but I genuinely enjoy writing these posts very much. I think it is worth doing and I hope you think it is worth reading.

Even if you don't, there will still be more posts.

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Note:

In this post I've embellished a few details to give a fictionalized idea of what it would be like to sit down and see The Mysterians in a U.S. theater during its initial run. While I have no proof that The Mysterians ever played at the Metro Theater specifically, it very well could have. However, everything else is factual and is taken from reliable primary sources. The photo of the theater interior I've used is not the Metro Theater but the Bagdad Theater in Portland, Oregon; I've chosen it for its ambiance and the size of its screen. You can find more information about the Metro Theater here.
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Image credits:

Metro Theater exterior: from Jack Tillmany collection

Metro Theater lobby: photo by Ted Newman, from Jack Tillmany collection

Bagdad Theater interior: photo by Kathleen Nyman

Saturday, August 24, 2024

Famous Monsters of Filmland "Godzilla vs Bionic Monster" Special

I'm not sure that full photos of this article have ever been posted online, so let's take a look at the July 1977 issue of Famous Monsters of Filmland. This is a "filmbook": a quick recap of the events of a film intended for people who haven't yet seen it. I've seen these done for older Godzilla movies in magazines like G-Fan since, for most of the franchise's history, a lot of it was wholly inaccessible to English-speaking fans. That isn't the case here, though: this issue is promoting CinemaShares' U.S. re-cut of Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, retitled Godzilla vs. Bionic Monster.

This issue pre-dates the lawsuit Universal Pictures brought against CinemaShares, alleging that the title was too similar to their TV series The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman. This is obviously a little ridiculous, but they do pun off of it in the filmbook, so there may have been some merit to the suit. The film was retitled Godzilla vs. Cosmic Monster afterwards.

Some highlights:
  • Whoever wrote this may not have seen the film directly as they describe King Ghidorah being the one to attack Fake Godzilla instead of Anguirus.
  • The article has a generally positive outlook on the film, which is surprising considering that it's an American review of a '70s Godzilla movie. It does lean into the "check out those ZAAANY monsters!" angle, but to be fair, the movie is kind of just like that.
  • "Hey guys, should we credit the original director or any of the cast or staff?" "Nah, don't worry about it."
  • Repeated references to Godzilla as being 21 years old, disregarding the original film in favor of King of the Monsters. I don't like that, to say the least.
  • Excuse you, that's space titanium, not just regular titanium. Professor Miyajima didn't become a leading expert in the distinguished field of space titanium studies for you to disrespect it like that.
  • King Seesaw.
  • "At this point he could no doubt rip it clean off with one huge yank. But Godzilla is not a Yank, he is a Japanese." 🤮







Monday, February 12, 2024

Saturday, October 14, 2023

WITNESS ME

Here I am in my home-made Mysterian cosplay, just in case anybody ever wondered what kind of person runs this blog.