Chompy & The Girls (2021)

directed by Skye Braband

USA

89 minutes

4 stars out of 5

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Every so often a movie comes along that's so completely bonkers and has a premise so unconventional that it makes you rejoice for the indie film industry, because no one in their right mind would endorse a film like this if it meant giving it any huge amount of money. The people who watch a thing like this already know who they are and what they like; they're not leisurely theater-goers who will be happy with watching anything as long as they get to sit in an air-conditioned room with some popcorn. The poster, the tagline, especially the synopsis - "A troubled woman meets her father for the first time and their encounter goes from awkward to alarming when they witness a man swallow a little girl whole." That's all you need to know what you're getting into.

So what is this? It is what it says it is. I can't really spoil it per se, because it's pretty up-front about the whole mouth guy thing, but I almost don't want to mention my favorite part of the movie, which is when the main character and her dad first encounter Chompy, because it's so pitch-perfect you have to see it for yourself. It would be virtually impossible to create a good segue between the tired family drama of a girl with personal issues reaching out to her straight-laced yet also personally unsatisfied father and the totally nuts scenario of watching a dude eat a child, so the film doesn't try. When the main character and her dad first witness the event that kicks off the plot of the film, they don't even react. They don't look at each other and say "WTF?". They just leg it. Both of them, instinctively, know that what they're seeing is something so absurd and impossible, so ridiculous, that their brains don't know how to react other than to just get the hell out of there. No waffling about, no "did you see that?" because they both know it's real since the other one just saw it too. There's nothing you can say when you're confronted by somebody swallowing another human whole.

Trust me, no matter how weird you're imagining this is, it's weirder. That's why I don't feel too bad discussing the events of the film. I can describe them to you, but I can't describe how bizarre it is to watch this for the first time.

I'm calling this a horror movie because I don't know what else it is, and also because honestly I just hate the mouth man. I hate the way he looks so much. He's supposed to be goofy-looking and kind of funny but that moment when the pair first see him and he starts walking wordlessly towards them is so genuinely unexpected that it has almost the same effect, sans cultural commentary, as the now-minorly-iconic "running straight at you without stopping" scene in Get Out. But you must get over your biases here, and I must restrain myself from spoiling anything further than that, because there's more to Chompy than meets the eye, or... mouth.

You might wonder if such a crazy idea can sustain itself over the course of a 90-minute film, and personally I feel that the answer is a resounding yes. The plot itself keeps revealing new snags and complications as it gets further in, eventually involving a pocket dimension, parasitic spirits, cloning, having one foot be the normal size and one be a little tiny baby foot, and other stuff that gets rolled up along the way like the movie is a katamari of weirdness. The tone is hard to describe and I may be putting some people off just by describing how wild it all is, but hey, it's not my job to sell this movie to you. That being said, though, this isn't the vapid "just shouting stupid stuff" humor of, say, Fred, or the Annoying Orange. There are rules and guidelines that govern how the universe of Chompy & The Girls works. The human characters do make decisions that at times make no sense at all, but as far as the mechanics of spiritual possession and mouth warriors fighting evil forces goes, the film is solid. I also appreciated that you can hear Chompy breathing since, as logic would dictate, his enormous, torso-sized mouth means his breathing sounds would be much louder than normal. That was a thoughtful detail to include.

Honestly, what this reminds me of more than anything is Dave Made A Maze, if anybody remembers that one, even though the two have totally different concepts. The DIY spirit of Dave Made A Maze and the way the characters were constantly reacting almost unscripted to having various things thrown at them is the only thing I can really think to compare Chompy & The Girls to. And as wacky as it is, there is a heart to this film as well, and it involves one of my favorite and truest messages: Oh my god, get a divorce if you're just gonna make each other miserable. It's legal for a reason, people. Without getting soppy, the main character's backstory is fleshed out and eventually wrapped up at the end in a way that felt genuine and did hit me in the heart just a little. Finding a way to involve a human element in a premise this strange can't be easy, and if this is the director's debut, I'm very excited to see what else is hiding in their brain. Also a little terrified, I'm that too.